so here is my journal that I promised

this is just a bitch journal really....because I'm a big bitch myself I like to bitch about things people bitch about here on these forums. Confused? I hope so!

So I'm browsing the forums while waiting for work to come in here at the office. I see multiple forums about how people want to lose weight. They want advice on what they should do. I give advice and nobody listens. They think that fat just falls off of their body by being on some BONK ASS DIET.

NEWS FLASH!!!!!!

THAT ISN'T HOW IT FUCKING WORKS DUMBASSES!

I've broken down steps on how to lose pounds.

Step 1: Stop eating stupid shit like hot pockets, ramen noodles, candy, chocolate (i know ladies you need for that special time of the month), fast food, hamburger meat, chips...ect I could keep on listing but you get the idea.

Step 2: Invest in some good food like Chicken Breast (yea I like breasts so what?), Lean Beef (not that garbage ass 50 / 50 shit), fruits, vegetables(carrots are great snacks...makes you shit orange though), SOUP! List can go on you get my drift.

Step 3: WORK THE FUCK OUT! When i say that I don't mean "oh im going to the gym to work out" and you don't work out. You start aching and you think you got a good workout in so you go home. That's not a good workout. If you're looking to lose weight...you need to be doing a fully body aerobic excersive...something that is getting your heart rate up and keeping it up. You need to do atleast 30 minutes in order to shed weight. A good workout that I do is boxing and kickboxing. I do 5, 5 minute rounds of punching bag workout and then I do 3, 3 minute rounds of kicks. I guarantee you that if you do a boxing workout you will lose 10 pounds in 2 weeks. If you dont...you're not working out hard enough.

Step 4: Get your fat fuckin ass off the computer. I'm on the computer 5 days a week for 8 hours a day...yea I could be obiest, but instead I work my ass off when I get home and I stay off of the computer when I get off of work. I find myself being very active on the weekends. You should do the same thing if you're trying to lose weight. You're body will burn 1 calorie and hour if you're on the computer. 1 A FUCKING HOUR!! THAT'S BONK AS FUCK! I don't see you losing weight if you're only burning 1 calorie an hour. So get your fat fuckin ass of the computer ad go outside and do something.

Step 5: Don't just workout for a week and think you're going to look like Jessica Alba or Brad Pit. That doesn't happen! So I know people get discouraged because they say "oh i'm not losing weight...i've been at the gym for a month and i don't see results." THATS BECAUSE YOU SEE YOURSELF EVERYDAY! I suggest that you don't look at your self at all in the mirror when you start your diet and workout. I know you girls need to look all pretty and all that...but try to do your makeup and that's it. Don't stand in front of the mirror trying to rub one out thinking about how you're not losing weight. Just keep on working out and you will see results.

Step 6: If you've made it to step 6 then I am proud of you. Step 6 means that you have seen results and now you can reward yourself with a clark bar or something. Here's the thing okay? Just because you start looking good doesn't mean you stop working out. That's the biggest mistake I see with people who workout. They workout for a good 3 months....see results and then stop working out and a month later they are back where they started out at. You need to be consistent with your workout. All you have to do is workout 3 times a week and you'll stay where you are at. Remember a scale is only showing you how much you weigh....not how much body fat you have. So don't even bother weighing yourself until 3 months after you started working out.

There you go...the bitching is over. Now go to KFC and order a 12 piece bucket of chicken fat and get to work.

AND YOU MOTHER FUCKERS NEED TO START COMMENTING ON MY ARTWORK MORE! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!!!!!!