So this weekend started out pretty good. Went to my buddies bachelor party Friday night and got flistered downtown fort myers. Had a good time...I got shit-faced enough that I went back to my car and grabbed my acoustic guitar and started playing songs in the middle of downtown fort myers. I had my case out and collected a good 5 bucks in change...just enough to buy me a bud light. So after downtown we all go back to Steve's house for some beer pong and well....there I was drunk dialing every girl in my phone. No luck of course because it's fuckin 3:00am in the morning and they are all FUCKING SLEEPING! So no luck Friday night...the good stuff comes Saturday night.

Saturday Night

So Saturday night comes around...I'm all excited about my date I have lined up. So me and this girl I met at the sevendust concert are supposed to go on a date last night...well I should have known I'D GET STOOD UP FOR THE 1,000 CONSECUTIVE TIME. I need to check the guiness book of records to see if I'm in the running for most consecutive stand ups in a row. I bet I could have the record no doubt. These fucking girls around this town are so fucking scandulous it's not even funny. They PISS ME THE FUCK OFF! So here I am back to practicing celibacy until the next one comes around.

So back on topic.

So I'm like "wtf going on here..." I check my phone she leaves me a text message "Hey I'm stuck in the Cape...Sorry" well this is the funny part...because this girl thinks I was fuckin born yesterday or something. She already told me she was at work and would call when she got out....well she never called...she texted and gave me some bullshit line about how she's stuck. So I call her she picks up...I hear music in the background...blah blah blah....A new born infant would know she was at a club. So I'm like

Me: "so you never called me after work...and now your stuck in cape...whats the deal"
Abby: "Ugh...I don't have a ride...I'm stuck in the cape"
Me: "I already know that, but what I'm asking is what's the deal, what happened to us going out?"
Abby: "Nothing...I'm at....I'm at my girlfriends house and she picked me up from work and I don't have a car"
Me: "oh that's funny because you drove to work yourself and then your friend picks you up...now you're at her house with blazing loud music...You must think I was born yesterday.."
Abby: "Oh no baby I want to hang out tonight..I'm just stuck in the cape."
Me: Hangs ups the phone gets fucked up for the rest of the night wondering if there are any real women even living in existence.

So that's pretty much it...another bites the dust. These girls now-a-days are fuckin scandulous...I can't stand em to be honest. They think they are so slick, and so smart, and just so good looking. YOU AREN'T FUCK! I should have known but hey what can I do? cry about it? FUCK YEA SONNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's what the good old internet is for. So I'm back at square 1...on the prowl for my future wife.